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Superstore Quotes

Superstore Quotes

1. “I’m just saying what I feel, and people do not like what they’re hearing. I am a strong cup of coffee.” — Dina Fox

2. “It’ll never be said that Garrett McNeill did not do just enough to not get fired.” — Garrett McNeill

3. “Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically just a three-week-long Slammerama?” — Dina Fox

4. “A psychopath doesn’t have a conscience. A sociopath knows what he’s doing is wrong but does it anyway.” — Dina Fox

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5. “Welcome to the no options club. It’s a cool club. Most of America’s in it. We meet on Tuesdays.” — Amy Dubanowski:

6. “Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair. That should be in our constitution.” — Amy Dubanowski

7. “Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can’t, and when you pop them, they scream.” — Glenn Sturgis

8. “People assume all Christians are homophobes. You know that is ignorant. You can’t imagine how hard it is being stereotyped.” — Glenn Sturgis

9. “I think it says something about our priorities that we spend so much money on pets when there are literally millions of children without adequate nutrition.” — Jonah Simms

10. “My point is there are people who do nothing and there are people who do something, and I am one of those people” —Jonah Simms

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11. “No, I was just trying to beat your story. Sorry, I’m competitive.” —Mateo Liwanag

12. “If it makes you feel any better, I turned down sex with a hooker for you.” — Jonah Simms

13. “What? A corporation doing something unethical to protect its interests? This is shocking!” — Garrett McNeill

14. “Yeah, see, Latino parents are different. We don’t really need our kids to like us. We just break their spirit so the world doesn’t.” —Amy Dubanowski

15. “I cannot physically touch you, but I can get very close.” — Dina Fox

16. “You are a journalist and a rapist, and those are the two worst things any person can be.” — Dina Fox

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17. “Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis.” — Dina Fox

18. “Look, you’re like the old paper coupons. You’re kind of a nuisance but arguably served a purpose, and now you’re useless.” — Dina Fox

19. “There are raises on the line. So sorry, not sorry. I’m not here to make friends.” — Mateo Liwanag

20. “I didn’t set out to have a baby. It came from sex.” — Cheyenne Lee

21. “We’re all becoming narcissistic attention whores!” — Amy Dubanowski

22. “Turns out they had a meth lab in their basement, which, turns out, was just a front for a dog fighting ring.” — Glenn Sturgis

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23. “Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve.” — Glenn Sturgis

24. “Yo, I don’t like working here. OK. But it’s my job. I do the bare minimum, but I don’t do less than that. And I’m not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, which I did not think was possible.” — Garrett McNeill

25. “I can’t be around Dina in that costume. It’s like, my rational brain says that’s the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, ‘Hey, man, boobs.’ It’s very confusing.” — Garrett McNeill

26. “Could it be a race riot? It’s so hard to tell in the early stages.” — Glenn Sturgis

27. “You know, Mateo, it’s funny. You’re undocumented, and I’m over 60, and America doesn’t want either of us to work anymore.” Mateo: “Right, but I’m under constant fear of deportation, and you get discounts at movie theatres.”— Glenn

27. “It’s just like my mom always said: ‘If you don’t work hard, baby Jesus will cry.’” — Mateo Liwanag

29. “You know, one second everything’s great, and then you step on some invisible land mine and you’re fighting. Boom!” —Amy Dubanowski

30. “There are raises on the line. So sorry, not sorry. I’m not here to make friends.” — Mateo Liwanag

31. “I want to show Bo. He’s never seen me in a video with clothes on.” — Cheyenne Lee

32. “Look, I know you don’t want to hurt me, but not doing this is hurting me. So if you’re really my friend, please, beat the hell out of me.” — Mateo Liwanag

33. “I’m going to unleash crazy Amy. You guys can call me ‘Craymie.’” Amy Dubanowski

34. “I’ve been busting my butt trying to show you I’m a good worker, but you have your head so far up your own butt you haven’t noticed.” — Mateo Liwanag

35. “If we’re talking about truth bombs, well, take shelter, ’cause I’m about to make it rain.” — Mateo Liwanag

36. “I’m a Christian, too, but in these four walls, my Bible is the employee code of conduct.” — Dina Fox

37. “Aaaah, da wittle panda finks he fought of somefing!” — Amy Dubanowski

38. “I can’t be a single mom. I have never even driven on the highway before. What if the baby needs to go downtown?” — Cheyenne Lee

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39. “We can’t just live our lives afraid to offend someone. I think that we, you know, as a society, we need to just lighten up a little bit.” — Amy Dubanowski

40. “He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby.” — Jonah Simms

41. “Tomorrow is just gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.” — Amy Dubanowski

42. “Some people like to hunt elk or deer. I hunt people. And your head is going on my wall.” — Dina Fox

43. “The idea of carrying your child makes me wanna put a bullet through my uterus.” — Dina Fox

44. “Why isn’t there a setting that hurts people?” — Dina Fox

45. “We are living in a brave, new, MeToo, Time’s Up, This Is Us kind of world. There are no rules anymore. But also, there’s nothing but rules.” — Glenn Sturgis

46. “No, I am not high-fiving one man over another man’s orgasm.” — Garrett McNeill

47. “I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the Good Book, but then someone reported me to corporate.” — Glenn Sturgis

48. “Some people might find your voice, octave-wise, to be the teeniest, tiniest bit high.” — Glenn Sturgis

49. “Cloud 9 is now closed.” — Garrett McNeill

50. “God doesn’t make mistakes very often, but when he does, you have to throw them right in the trash.” — Glenn Sturgis

Melissa J. Queenhttp://selfcarequotes.com/
Hi, I'm Melissa, The Co-Founder of this blog. I enjoy researching quotes and I want other people to know about them, so that can be a shared experience. Let’s share some of the pieces we have collected from this blog.

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