Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a hilarious comedy film that was released in 2006 starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. The movie follows the comedic adventures of two NASCAR drivers, Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr., as they battle their way through the world of racing. It’s filled with memorable one-liners and quotable moments that are still quoted by fans to this day. We have collected some of the best Talladega Nights quotes below.
“I tried to get a hold of you. I called, I e-mailed, I faxed and I sent smoke signals but all my attempts failed because you are so popular.
Top 50 Talladega Nights Quotes
1. “You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. I mean, that’s just life.” – Ricky Bobby
2. “You sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth.” – Ricky Bobby
3. “I wanna go fast. I wanna go fast.” – Ricky Bobby
4. “Losing is never fun, but here’s a little something to keep your spirits up. It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It’s on sale.” – Ricky Bobby
5. “Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders, ‘I am too drunk to taste this chicken.’” – Ricky Bobby
6. “Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, just lookin’ at your baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.” – Ricky Bobby
7. “I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’m coming for you.” – Ricky Bobby
8. “I just want to take time to say thank you for my family, my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or T.R. as we call him, and of course, my red hot smoking wife, Carly who is a stone-cold fox.” – Ricky Bobby
9. “Time to let the cougar loose.” – Ricky Bobby
10. “Yep, I’m flying through the air. This is not good.” – Ricky Bobby
11. “Dear eight-pound, six-ounce newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet.” – Ricky Bobby
12. “Everyone, turn away. Things are gonna get crazy. We’re gonna make animal noises.” – Ricky Bobby
13. “You can’t have two number ones.” – Ricky Bobby
14. “I felt like I was on a spaceship.” – Ricky Bobby
15. “I don’t know what to do with my hands.” – Ricky Bobby
16. “I’m going fast.” – Ricky Bobby
17. “I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something.” – Ricky Bobby
18. “Help me, Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Ah! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!” – Ricky Bobby
19. “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.” – Ricky Bobby
20. “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” – Ricky Bobby
21. “Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.” – Ricky Bobby
22. “Now, there’s nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity.” – Reese Bobby
23. “You gotta learn to drive with the fear, and there ain’t nothing more God damn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.” – Reese Bobby
24. “You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.” – Reese Bobby
25. “See you when you’re grown up.” – Reese Bobby
26. “You need to fire it up. You need to grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra!” – Susan
27. “Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer. And that’s what you need to do.” – Susan
28. “Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City.” – Carley Bobby
29. “Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?” – Jean Girard
30. “I’m all jacked up on mountain dew!” – Texas Ranger
31. “What is that, a catchphrase or is that epilepsy?” – Jean Girard
32. “May God be with you, monsieur Bobby. Because although today I am friendly. Tomorrow will be war!” – Jean Girard
33. “Grandfather, can’t we resolve this conflict without anger?” – Texas Ranger
34. “Guys! No tires! We’re not a pit crew anymore, we’re a car wash team.” – Lucius Washington
35. “Ah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance. And yes, it will be a slow jam.” – Jean Girard
36. “Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!” – Lucius Washington
37. “God needs the devil. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will You be my Katie Couric?” – Jean Girard
38. “Shut those mutts up before I cook ’em and eat ’em!” – Texas Ranger
39. “By defeating me today, you have set me free.” – Jean Girard
40.“Golly, this is a hard decision, but I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled.” – Carly Bobby
41. “I’m gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!” – Texas Ranger
42. “Now I am declaring Granny Law and if you do not obey Granny Law, I will paint your back porch red.” – Lucy Bobby
43. “How many more times you going to toss me the radio in the bathtub?” – Lucy Bobby
44. “My head’s all tied up like a pretzel. I got a pretzel in my head.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
45. “I like to think of Jesus as an ice dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
46. “When you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
47. “It’s painful, and I love you!” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
48. “You nailed that like a split hog.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
49. “I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt. ‘Cause, it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
50. “Shake and bake!” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
Finally, Talladega Nights Quotes are some of the funniest and most memorable quotes from the movie. These quotes have become popular among fans for their outrageous humor and clever wit. Whether it’s Ricky Bobby’s “I wanna go fast” or Cal Naughton Jr’s “Shake and Bake!” these quotes have become iconic in pop culture.