Top 25 Hyacinth Bucket Quotes
1. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s snobbery and one-upmanship. People trying to pretend they’re superior. Makes it so much harder for those of us who really are.
2. You don’t look like someone on business. You look like someone who’s gone to fetch a Daddy from a police station.
3. Experienced hostess offers her services for your special occasion. Followed by my telephone number.
4. How fares the church worldwide then, vicar? For instance, what is the missionary position in China these days?
5. Impulsive Daddy! I hope he’s not going to drive at speeds incompatible with my cut-glass condiment set.
6. Rose, you will not commit suicide. I forbid it!
7. I do hope, your Lordship, that someday you’ll give me the pleasure of entertaining you at one of my candle-lie slippers. We shall most deferably be having a glass or two of the Dowager Lady Ursula’s home-goose wadeberry mine.
8. For my advanced classes, I shall teach people to sparkle incandescently at their candlelight suppers.
9. Because when you see your husband upside down in the garden, the first concern is who he’s upside down with.
10. Some things are just too much for dear Sheridan.
11. I’ve always thought you looked like Mummy’s brave little soldier. Well, perhaps not soldier, dear. More like Mummy’s brave little poet or interior designer.
12. I hope that’s a first-class stamp. I object to having second-class stamps thrust through my letterbox. I should have thought postmen would be trained to recognise first-class stamp houses.
13. Now listen, horse: I’m not a person to be trifled with.
14. They’re invited to my waterside supper with riparian entertainment.
15. It’s my sister, Violet. She’s the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.
16. Hyacinth expresses her secondhand ambition for Richard.
17. Sheridan deserves a father full of executive stress, wearing a bow tie.
18. I hope you’re not going to spoil things with lower middle-class humour.
19. I once caught Richard playing with a frisbee. He said it’s one he found, but I’ve never been sure.
20. Now kindly clear this line! There are people of substance in this community who are probably queuing to ring me at this very moment.
21. Because it’s always lovely to be reduced to the guy who “works in one of those Arab countries” and the woman who “drops things”
I’ve got Elizabeth and Emmet here. You remember Elizabeth, from next door. Her husband works abroad somewhere; one of those Arab countries. Yes, you met her at one one of my candlelight suppers. She drops things.
22. If there’s one thing that distinguishes us from other people, it’s the absence of vulgar noises.
23. I will not have you not thinking in front of the neighbours, Richard.
24. He’s behaving very oddly. Oh, I mean nothing dramatic. Just the little signs a wife notices. He wouldn’t speak to me when he was up a tree.
25. Elizabeth, if you could pass round my Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles.
